This is a weekly program with commentary on current issues.

Even people who don’t have the guts to check out their 401Ks must be a little curious about what’s in store for 2009. Luckily, I just bought a crystal ball (marked down to $1.37) on eBay.

Unable to reach a budget deal, California will close schools and universities, furlough employees, issue worthless IOUs, dissolve the Legislature and the Office of the Governor, file for bankruptcy and reorganize under Chapter 11 of the Indian Gaming Law.

Riverside County will experience a mild economic boomlet when the Morongo Casino Resort & Spa becomes the state capital.

Republican legislators who held fast to their “no-tax” pledge will be immortalized by a consortium of prominent out-of-work California taxidermists.

Barack Obama and Ehud Barak will bag a barracuda near a barracks.

Reversing their decision to spend $126 million on Casa de Cuddles, RivCo supes will buy the Ramona Bowl and convert it to an outdoor DA headquarters. In exchange for providing the DA with a spacious hillside office and a county horse, the supes will retain the right to produce a modern version of “Ramona” depicting the star-crossed relationship between Bob Buster and John Tavaglione.

Pursuant to the terms of the federal bailout, General Motors will be busted to Corporal Motors.